Decadent Publishing's Authors' Blog

It's still under construction and I don't know what days I'll post yet, but I think it's coming along beautifully.
http://decadentpublishing.blogspot.com/
.
While you're at it, pop over to
http://gotromancemusings.blogspot.com/2010/09/gather-food-light-fire-get-ready-for.html
to read a post by our executive editor, Heather Bennett, and to win a free download from Decadent.

Tia Nevitt's SEVENFOLD SPELL Debuts at Carina Press!

Tia and I went through that evil, dreaded purgatory known as Queryland together and she landed her first contract just a little bit before me.  SEVENFOLD SPELL's official release is tomorrow, September 27th.  Pop over to her blog, Debuts & Reviews, for promotional activities and giveaways, and then click on her cover art on her sidebar.  That link will take you to her website where you can read an excerpt and learn other nifty things about her and SEVENFOLD SPELL.  Congratulations, Tia!   http://www.tianevitt.com/weblog

Review: The Heat is On by Jill Shalvis

The Heat is On
by Jill Shalvis

Genre: Sensual Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Harlequin Blaze
Cost: $5.12

What I Liked:
First, I have to say that my friends have been telling me to read Jill Shalvis ever since I sat next to her at the RWA PRO luncheon that I won with HelenKay Dimon (who is also amazing!). I picked up her book at the Harlequin booksigning, and am just now getting to it in my TBR pile. But I wish I would have taken the time to read it at Nationals, because I so would have liked to have had the chance to tell her to her face what an amazing writer she is, and how much I liked her book.

I have been enjoying my trek through Harlequin Blaze land quite a bit, but I must say that this is by far my favorite of them all. Jill Shalvis writes with a quick wit that is so natural to her characters, it feels like they are real people. Her heroine is one of the few (in any romance novel) that I can say I would honestly like to get to know as a friend. Of course, being that I also write foodie romance, the whole pastry chef angle was right up my alley, and I found myself more than once wanting to go down to my local bakery to pick up a fresh croissant.

But where Jill Shalvis really sparkles is in writing romantic tension. She is truly a master. Her characters ooze, and talk about, and experience, and laugh at (and did I mention OOZE) sexual tension. From the absolute first line until the last. And what's amazing is that even though they've already had sex, they still manage to keep that tension alive. It was truly a pleasure to read.

I am now officially a Jill Shalvis fan, because if (as my friends insist) the rest of her books are as good as this one, I need to read them right now. Additionally, I hope she keeps up this American Heroes line and continues to write about some of Jacob's friends... of course, I have my preferences, but I'm sure whatever she comes up with will be infinitely better than anything I could imagine. Jill Shalvis, my hat goes off to you. You are a warm, kind person, and you write hot, smexy books! There isn't more crackerjack combo!

~Rebecca Lynn

Book Blurb:
Oh, dear. Bella Manchelli is so not having a good day. First, she's deliciously exhausted from last night's sizzling one-night stand. Second, there's a (gulp) dead body at her back door. Third...um, that scrumptious one-nighter is at her front door... and he's wearing a badge!
Police Officer Jacob Madden is all about duty. Until he shows up looking for a homicide...and runs right into last night's slice of sexy heaven! Damn, he just can't think straight when he's around Bella. All he wants to do is lick her up one side and down the other....

Can duty and smoking-hot sex blend for a while? Definitely! Until Jacob discovers that several of the guys Bella's dated have turned up dead. Jacob loves being around Bella. But is he ready to be used as target practice?

Review: Star of His Heart by Brenda Jackson

Star of His Heart
by Brenda Jackson

Genre: Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Harlequin (Kimani)
Cost: $6.25

What I Liked:
Holy moly, this woman can write a love scene! Not even just a pretty but mechanical sex scene (as the pros say, "insert tab A in slot B"). No. A *love* scene. You read the chemistry between Ethan and Rachel, and you can feel it for yourself. Wow.

I tend to like my prose to move pretty quickly, and it took me a little bit to get into this book, but man-o-man, once I did, it was very well worth it.

I have to say, this has happened to me several times over the last few months. I've started reading a book with a slower beginning than I prefer, and thought seriously about putting it down after about two chapters. Instead, I stuck through it and WOW, was it worth it. It's starting to make me question my own taste. These books that I "reluctantly" keep reading end up eventually blowing me away. Like this one did. The characters, I just fall in love with and I'm so interested in. I think I'm learning to give authors a little more grace than I used to. Because I've had some great experiences when I "stuck with it" after not being wowed by the opening.

I had heard, of Brenda Jackson, that she had a reputation for writing HAWT heroes, and this time "they" weren't kidding. Ethan was a super hot hero with a heart of gold. I was so in love with him by the end of the book, I kept thinking Accio Ethan. He did not come. :-) But it would have been great if he had, because he was an intriguing, complex, interesting, compassionate hero. Loved it.

Book Blurb:

Drop-dead-gorgeous Ethan Chambers loves his life as Hollywood's most eligible - and elusive - bachelor. Plus, the talented actor has just gotten an offer he can't refuse: a starring role on TV's hit medical drama. But it's the show's sultry makeup and wardrobe director who's got his pulse racing - and making him think twice about staying single.

Getting the gig on Paging the Doctor has thrust Rachel Wellesley into the unwelcome glare of the spotlight. She wants to paint the story, not be the story. But when Rachel starts falling for the show's sinfully sexy star, she knows it's time to get her own heart checked. But how can she give up these passionate nights in Ethan's arms? Now, as the cameras roll and her creative vision comes to life, is Rachel finally ready for her close-up - with the man of her dreams?

The Guardians of Ga'Hoole "The Capture" by Kathryn Lasky

Here's the link to the movie trailer-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_lMihSKkgA
.
Countdown to Legends of Ga’Hoole: Guardians of Ga’Hoole Book 1: The Capture by Kathryn Lasky

.
WHOOOO----HOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about an awesome year for kid’s book movies!!!! First Percy Jackson, then Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and now this!!!! And it comes out this month!!!
.
Okay, so I’m doing sort of the same thing that I am for the Deathly Hallows: reviewing the books! Now I’m betting that they’re going the merge the first six or so into one movie, so that’s what I’m gonna do: review the first six! And no complaints if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am, ‘cause I have concrete evidence: they show the bad guy in the preview, and he really doesn’t show up till the end of the third book!!
.
So here we go, and see you at the movie!
.
The story opens with our hero, Soren the Barn Owl, watching as his new baby sister Eglantine hatches. Nearby are his mother and father, his slightly sinister older brother Kludd, and his family’s nest-maid snake, Mrs. Plithiver. Soon, Eglantine is out of her egg and eating her first bug. Ahh, the joys of a happy family.
.
But soon that is ruined for Soren when he falls out of the nest! Mrs. Plithiver tries to get help, but before she can, Soren is swept away by a mysterious owl to an equally mysterious stone labyrinth.
.
Soon, we find out that the labyrinth is called St. Aegolius Academy for Orphaned Owls, though it’s better known as St. Aggie’s. There Soren meets a new friend: Gylfie the Elf Owl, and finds out the strictest rule at St. Aggie’s-no questions! That’s right, no questions! Yikes!
.
Between them, Soren and Gylfie figure out what’s going on at St. Aggie’s-they’re brainwashers! Using a combination of giving them a number instead of a name, something called moon blinking and repeating their old names over and over and over so it becomes just another sound, they’re slowly turning all the owlets-including Soren and Gylfie!-into brainless zombies!
.
Luckily, they manage to find ways around their efforts-for example, they start saying their number instead of their name and staying in one place during the sleep marches so that they stay away from the moon’s glare, they manage to keep their brains unwashed. But the question is, how long can they keep this up? They desperately need to escape.
.
But there’s one problem.: the only way out is to fly out. And neither Soren nor Gylfie are ready to fly.
.
Yeah. Really.
.
So in the meantime the unlikely duo decides to investigate just what St. Aggie’s is really up to. So Gylfie gets the twosome positions in the pelletorium, where owls peck apart the small pellets that all owls throw up (or yarp, as the owls in the Guardians of Ga’Hoole universe say). But why? Soren eventually finds out that they’re looking for flecks-tiny pieces of metal embedded in pellet that have many magnetic qualities. But why are Skench and Spoorn, the two head owls here at St. Aggie’s, after the flecks?
.
Not long after, the two are promoted to work in the eggorium, where snatched eggs from all over the owl world are sorted and given to broodies, who sit the eggs until they hatch. Soren sorts the Barn Owl eggs, and Gylfie the Elf Owl eggs. But they aren’t figuring anything out.
.
Soon, Soren meets an owl named Hortense, or number 12-8. She’s a broody, like Soren is at that point. Her nest is located high up, overlooking the canyon-a perfect place for Soren and Gylfie’s first flight. But more than that, Hortense turns out to be un-moon blinked, like them! See, she was born near a river that had lots of flecks in it, and it gave her a peculiar resistance to moon blinking. Now she’s living at St. Aggie’s, but is she really all she seems? Not by a long shot, as Gylfie discovers one night. She’s actually an infiltrator, smuggling away the very eggs she keeps warm by giving them to a large bald eagle that comes every so often to take eggs.
.
Hortense agrees to let them meet the bald eagle but, that very night, they are discovered! Aunt Finny, a pit guardian, and Skench and Spoorn try to take the egg back, but in the ensuing fight Hortense is shoved off the edge by none other than Finny, who we thought was rather nice but now we know as a person who really hates children! (I think she’d probably get along well with Professor Umbridge!)
.
Well, overall, things aren’t going well. They get worse when Soren and Gylfie see what happens to pretty much all the flight-age owls at St’s Aggie’s-they get bitten by vampires! And they aren’t even the awesomely-cute Twilight type! (Aw, man!!) They’re actually vampire bats, and what they do is take out the vital supply of blood that helps the owls’ flight feathers grow. No blood, no growth, no flight, no escape.
.
And the bats always come at the new moon. (Hmmmm. Does that ring a bell or is it just me?) Soren and Gylfie have to get out of here before then or they can kiss any hopes of escape good-bye.
.
The truth is, Gylfie has some suspicions about one of Skench and Spoorn’s top lieutenants, Grimble. So they go and talk to him and discover he isn’t moon blinked, either! He’s been resisting it too, all these years since he was taken, as an adult owl, to St. Aggie’s. He’s astonished that Soren and Gylfie have discovered a way to resist it. Luckily, though, he agrees to help Soren and Gylfie learn how to fly.
.
Well before the next new moon, Soren and Gylfie are ready. Grimble says he’ll arrange it so they can take off from the library, which is the highest point in St. Aggie’s besides where Hortense’s nest was. But then, somehow, they are discovered! Skench bursts in with full armor and battle claws on. But somehow, she is pulled back and slams into the walls, giving Soren and Gylfie just enough time to get on the wing and escape St. Aggie’s at last!
.
They fly through the night, until they are far away from the stone walls and seriously non-cute vampires of St. Aggie’s. But still, they don’t have anywhere to go to. They try Soren’s hollow, but when they get there, Soren’s parents are gone, and with them Eglantine and even Soren’s slightly sinister brother Kludd. Now what are they to do?
.
Soon after, they meet their new friend Twilight, a huge Great Gray, who was snatched at birth by St. Aggie’s but somehow managed to escape and has lived on his own ever since. The trio decides to head to Kuneer to see if they can find Gylfie’s family. There they meet Digger, a Burrowing Owl whose family was discovered and snatched by-yes, and again-St. Aggie’s. But when the four owls are attacked by two huge Long-Eared Owls, Jatt and Jutt, will they be able to fight them off? Will Soren ever see his family again? And will the four owls-now known as the Band-ever reach that group of noble owls, the Guardians of Ga’Hoole?
.
Sorry, but I really don’t want to give it away, so you’ll just have to wait for the next review. But I will say that it should be pretty soon. I want to get the first six done before the movie’s release on the 24th. That means I’ll have to do a few a week. Any complaints? Good. Next up is number two, The Journey. I’d look for it this weekend, OK? Good. Until then, see you at the movie!

Review: Summer Brides Anthology

Summer Brides Anthology
by Susan Mallery, Sherryl Woods, and Susan Wiggs

Genre: Contemporary Romance
Publisher: Harlequin
Cost: $4.79

What I Liked:
I loved every one of these stories. It's obvious that these women are fantastic writers. This was another one of my intended-to-read-a-few-pages experiences, only worse, becuase I would start one novella intending to read a few pages, then start the next intending to just see what the story was like, then start the third thinking I would just check it out. Yeah, that worked out into me spending the afternoon reading about brides, weddings, and love stories. But it was a great afternoon.

As I said, all three were really well-written, well-plotted, tight, and interesting. And satisfying, of course. But I definitely had a favorite.

The last of the stories, Sister of the Bride by Susan Mallery was, in my opinion, the best. And it's saying something to be the best of three greats. But I really connected with this heroine. Loved the hero, of course, but I almost always love the hero. It's when I really love the heroine that I stand up and take notice in a book. Susan Mallery's voice is intoxicating. I could actually feel myself getting sucked in to her storytelling. I was actually disappointed when the story ended, because it was too quick. I could easily have followed this story for an entire novel. Fantastic.

All-in-all, I would rec any of these books. Great summer (or fall... or anytime) reads.

Book Blurb:
Three happily-ever-afters from three of your favorite authors
The Borrowed Bride by Susan Wiggs
During her own bridal shower, Isabel Wharton is whisked away by past love Dan Black Horse to his retreat in the Cascade range. But returning to her Native roots, and Dan's loving arms, is harder than she ever imagined.

A Bridge to Dreams by Sherryl Woods
With her vacation plans foiled, Karyn Chambers realizes that her long-awaited escape must give way to staying at home in San Francisco. Little does she know her Prince Charming is right in her own backyard.
Sister of the Bride by Susan Mallery
When Katie McCormick finds out that her sister is marrying her ex, she finally agrees to a setup for the big day. To her surprise, Jackson is a catch. But when wedding catastrophe ensues, will their sparks fizzle or ignite into flames?

~Review by Rebecca Lynn

New Releases for Decadent Publishing

Fugitive shifter, Aria Legreve, is always on the run. With her own life at risk, she helps a badly beaten shifter to his Pack, knowing the danger her meddling entails. Hoping to use her status as an Outcast and be set free, her world changes when she meets head on with no other than her Mate—who is dead.

.
Alpha Lukas MacLeod has been searching for his wife for the past year, until Aria walks straight into his lair. Fate intervenes and gives them a second chance. Caught up in an intricate web of lies and prophecies in the making for generations, Aria and Lukas must discover a way to balance the darkness in their world, but will their love be strong enough to save their pack and each other?

How much is your soul worth to you? If you're Tom Harper, not a lot. Still reeling from the loss of his soul mate, he thinks a soul is worth nothing without someone to share it with. Grieving, broke and tired, he offers it up for sale. But with a few clicks of a mouse, he realizes that it is worth more than he ever knew and that some things are worth more than all the money in heaven... or Hell.

Meghan Muldoon is at a cross-road. Newly married to a man who dotes on her, someone that she thought existed only in fiction, she struggles to balance the demands of her vocation as an advocate for victims of violence versus those of a newlywed.
.
On Valentine's Day, a series of routine crises force Meg to reconsider staying with a profession that fulfills her both professionally and spiritually—or devoting the rest of her life to the one person who makes everything worthwhile.

Carri has definitely caught the eye of the big bad wolf.
.
Visiting the Glacier Valley pack to get a little breathing room from life in the city, Carri uses her skills to help install a high tech airspace sensor array for her adoptive grandmother’s pack. Jason is a lone wolf, good at doing his job and good at being alone. Sparks fly between them, igniting desire hotter than Carri's red hood. But the Glacier Valley pack has made it clear Carri is under their protection and off limits. Yet, the heat between them is undeniable, and when Carri makes her choice clear, Jason is ready to claim her as his. He'll go against the pack and any rivals, even take down an alien hunter to have her and protect her.

A decadent-looking savage has captured Francesca DuVall and her brother, Marsh. Now she must spend every waking moment planning an escape from the camp of the brutal savages. What she doesn't count on is the powerful draw of desire interfering with her scheme.

.
Ethan Gray is a curator at a national museum in Washington, D.C. . . . most of the time. But when he travels through time to help his beloved People, he becomes Meko, leader of the most revered and feared tribe of the plains, the Cheyenne Dog Soldiers.
.
Their worlds are decades apart, yet Meko can’t resist the dark beauty he kidnapped during a raid. He has many battles to fight, but none more crucial than capturing Cesca’s heart forever.
.

A decadent-looking savage has captured Francesca DuVall and her brother, Marsh. Now she must spend every waking moment planning an escape from the camp of the brutal savages. What she doesn't count on is the powerful draw of desire interfering with her scheme.
.
Ethan Gray is a curator at a national museum in Washington, D.C. . . . most of the time. But when he travels through time to help his beloved People, he becomes Meko, leader of the most revered and feared tribe of the plains, the Cheyenne Dog Soldiers.
.
Their worlds are decades apart, yet Meko can’t resist the dark beauty he kidnapped during a raid. He has many battles to fight, but none more crucial than capturing Cesca’s heart forever.
.
***To learn more about these and other titles, how to read eBooks when you don't have a reader, and Heat Levels, please hop over to the website-
http://www.decadentpublishing.com/
.
To learn about the New Release in Erotica, please hop over to our sister site-
http://enduringromanceandgeneralnaughtiness.blogspot.com/

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX by J.K. Rowling

Countdown to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Month Three-Book Five-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

.
Finally, it’s time for The Order of the Phoenix! It’s the thickest yet at over seven hundred pages, but well worth it! And remember after this, there’s only the Half-Blood Prince and then……well, you should know what I mean by now.
.
The story opens with Harry trying to find out whether there’s any news about Lord Voldemort on the news. However, he is quickly distracted by a cracking sound not far away. (Read your Chamber of Secrets!) The resulting uproar from the Dursleys sends Harry away to the nearest playground, where he runs into everybody’s favorite-bully-who-really-does-not-like-Harry-and-that’s-not-good person, Dudley.
.
However, there are much worse things out there than even Harry’s bullying cousin. One of those just happens to be dementors. Two of them corner Harry and Dudley down a dark alley (which is exactly where you don’t want to meet dementors). Luckily, Harry is able to repel them with a Patronus, and we meet up with an old friend, Mrs. Figg. Turns out she’s really a Squib (a person with magical parents but no magical abilities), and has been watching over Harry ever since he was first sent to Privet Drive way back when. We also learn that Harry had been being watched ever since he returned to Privet Drive. One of those watchers is a slightly odd person named Mundungus Fletcher, who had just happened to wander off just before Harry ran into those dementors.
.
As a result, Harry had to use a Patronus, which is magic, which means he’s in very big trouble now! He’s been summoned for a hearing. If he wins, he gets to stay at Hogwarts. If not…..well, let’s just say that wouldn’t be a very good situation to be in.
.
On the upside, however, Harry does get to leave the Dursleys early. He’s rescued by a bunch of people, including everybody’s favorite ex-Defense against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Lupin and the real Mad-Eye Moody, who we thought was the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher last year but really wasn’t….ooops, forget I said that. We also meet some new faces, including everybody’s favorite so-clumsy-she’s-utterly-hilarious Nymphadora Tonks (word of caution: don’t call her by her first name!!), the very cool Kingsley Shacklebolt, the slightly familiar Dedalus Diggle, and several other interesting characters.
.
In no time, Harry’s out of the house and landing in front of number twelve, Grimmauld Place, the temporary headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. There we meet up with the Weasleys (minus Percy) and Hermione, who quickly fill Harry in on what’s been happening and what’s up with the Order of the Phoenix. We also find another familiar face: everybody’s favorite so-unexpected-we-thought-he-was-a-villain-like-Harry-doesn’t-have-enough-of-them hero, Sirius Black!
.
Yep, he’s here, happily enough! However, the happy reunions are quickly overshadowed by Harry’s looming hearing. All too soon, Harry’s going to his hearing accompanied by Mr. Weasley.
.
Luckily, Harry has a good judge, Mrs. Bones. Unfortunately, though, Fudge has decided to attend as well, and ever since last year when Harry told him Lord Voldemort is back, he’s had a very low opinion of Harry and would like nothing better than to convict him.
.
Fortunately, though, Harry has one last thing on his side: Professor Dumbledore has shown up to support Harry, along with Mrs. Figg as a witness. With more than a little trading of info and Fudge’s bringing up Harry’s past endeavors (including his Aunt Marge incident, which, I may add, he let Harry off for,), Harry is, once again, off the hook! (Yay, yay!!) However, it is not before we meet another, very annoying character: Professor Umbridge.
.
It isn’t until Harry, Ron, and Hermione make it back to Hogwarts, however, that we find out just how major a character Professor Umbridge is. Well, long story short, she’s the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, and she, like her boss Fudge, is no fan of Harry’s.
.

But more of that later. In the meantime, Harry, Ron, and Hermione meet up with one of my favorite characters, Luna Lovegood. She may be a little crazy, but she’s very nice and quite important as a character.
.
Professor Umbridge may be a big fan of the color pink, but she soon shows her true colors: a kid-torturer! Not to mention, she shares Fudge’s opinion about Harry’s saying Lord Voldemort is back: she thinks he’s lying, as if! Combine the two, and Harry’s in detention before you can say “Voldemort”. And this is no ordinary detention, either! Professor Umbridge is so mean; she makes Harry use this quill that writes using Harry’s own blood! Ouch! I know, I don’t like her either.
.
But more than that, Fudge has decided that the kids shouldn’t be learning defensive magic anymore, which is simply leaving the door wiiiiiiiiiiide open for Lord Voldemort. So Harry, Ron, and Hermione decide to start up a Defense against the Dark Arts group. They meet in the Hog’s Head, a rather suspicious bar in Hogsmeade, to gather members. Some people who show up include the twins, Ginny, Luna, (yay, yay!), and Cho Chang, remember her? Neville also shows up, along with Seamus, Dean, and a bunch of other kids from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. There’s no one from Slytherin, though: they’re all big supporters of Professor Umbridge, big surprise there!
.
The only problem is, where are they going to meet? That problem is solved by an appearance from our old friend Dobby the house-elf, who tells Harry of the Room of Requirement. The Room of Requirement is a magical room that’ll produce whatever you really, really need-like a room to practice Defense Against the Dark Arts! Soon Harry’s teaching the kids to use spells like Expelliarmus, the Disarming Spell, Stupefy, the Stunning Spell, and even Patronuses like Harry’s. To name a few, Hermione’s is an otter, Cho’s is a swan, and Ginny’s is a horse. (At least, it is in the movie; I don’t think it says in the book. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Rewind!
.
There we go. Okay, so it’s the last meeting of Dumbledore’s Army (that’s what Harry, Ron, and Hermione name it: it fits well, don’t you think?). But that’s not important. What’s really, awesomely cool is what happens right after.
.
Cho corners Harry after the meeting ends. At first, he thinks she just wants to talk about everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric. But then she turns the whole thing by doing something I probably shouldn’t say in case any boys are reading this right now.
.
(pssst…..hey, girls, you guessed right. Harry and Cho do kiss. And it’s awesome!!)
.
The whole oh-awesome-I-have-a-girlfriend is ruined that night, however. Harry dreams that he is a snake, slithering down an all-too-familiar corridor somewhere deep within the Ministry. The snake comes upon Mr. Weasley (don don dawww!!) and attacks him viciously! In no time flat Harry, Ginny, Ron, and the twins are at Sirius’s waiting to see their dad at St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.
.
The next day the Weasleys and Harry go to visit Mr. Weasley, accompanied by none other than our three favorite Aurors, Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks, and Kingsley. While there, Harry and Ron come face-to-face with another old friend-Gilderoy Lockhart, everybody’s favorite totally not-very-good-at-magic-in-general-except-memory charms-ex-Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
.
Skip forward to after the holidays. Professor Umbridge is eviler than ever (if that’s possible), and, to add to Harry’s miserable state of mind, Professor Snape has been doing Occulmency with him.
.
See, turns out what we suspected all along was true-Harry really is reading Lord Voldemort’s mind. And lately, the connection’s been getting stronger and stronger (hence those funny dreams), and Dumbledore’s worried that Voldemort might figure out he’s got a direct link to Harry’s mind (which he does). So he’s had Snape start to teach Harry Occulmency, which should keep Voldemort out and Harry in control.
.
Maybe.
.
And that’s not all. The very next D.A meeting is crashed by (whom else?) Professor Umbridge, who was tipped off by none other than Cho’s friend Marietta Edgecombe. Fudge quickly manages to blame Dumbledore and tries to send him to Azkaban. What he doesn’t count on is Fawkes, who whisks Dumbledore off to safety, leaving Professor Umbridge free to take over as headmistress.
.
Soon, Harry is heading to talk his career options over with good old Professor McGonagall. He wants to be an Auror, but Professor Umbridge decides to play killjoy and says Harry will never be employed as one (which, I admit, was a predictable response from her. You know, she really hates children).
.
Harry gets his comeuppance a little late, though, when another of my favorite Harry Potter scenes play out. Fred and George decide, hey, we don’t wanna stay here with little miss I-really-like-pink-so-much-it’s-utterly-disgusting, so let’s blow the coop! So they do in typical Fred and George style, setting off a bunch of fireworks and completely blowing Umbridge off her feet!
.
All too soon, however, Harry is enduring the dreaded O.W.Ls!! As usual, I’m not telling you how he does (you don’t really know until the next book anyway), but I am going to tell you what happens during History of Magic.
.
Harry falls asleep during the immensely boring lesson, and no sooner is he asleep than he dreams that Voldemort has everybody’s favorite so-unexpected-we-thought-he-was-a-villain-like-Harry-doesn’t-have-enough-of-them hero, Sirius!
.
Before you can say, “Harry, wait! Don’t believe a word Kreacher says!”, Harry’s been caught by Umbridge trying to talk to Sirius. Hermione, Ron, Neville, Ginny, and Luna are also caught.
.
The next thing you know, everybody thinks Hermione betrays them (but she really doesn’t, so quit punching the screen), and we find out that it was really Umbridge who set those dementors on Harry!!! (It took me like ages to figure that out, so I hope you’re a more observant reader than I am, or you’ll miss a lot.) Hermione tells Umbridge that Dumbledore’s set up some sort of secret weapon in the Forbidden Forest (which he really hasn’t), so Umbridge takes Harry and Hermione out into the forest where, with a little help from our old friends the centaurs (minus Firenze: he’s the new Divination teacher) and Grawp, Hagrid’s all-giant half-brother, they manage to shake off Umbridge and get back to Hogwarts in one piece.
.
Meanwhile, back at the school of magic, Ron, Ginny, Neville, and Luna manage to get rid of their Slytherin guards and give Harry and Hermione back their wands. Now for the difficult part: how to get to the Ministry? One slightly hilarious conversation later, Luna comes up with a solution that she really had all along: Thestrals!
.
Thestrals are these really cool skeletal horses that are sort of creepy because they can only been seen by those who’ve seen death (like Harry and Luna, for instance), and they eat meat, but they have wings and a really good sense of direction. So the next thing you know, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna are mounted on Thestrals and headed for the Department of Mysteries.
.
There they find a bunch of doors like the ones in Harry’s dreams. Eventually, after seeing a bunch of really cool stuff, they find the right room-a room full of glass balls that have prophecies in them. That’s right-prophecies!
.
And one of them just happens to be the reason why Voldemort decided to go kill Harry’s parents (and try to kill Harry, too, but we know that didn’t work out. For the most part, anyway,) all those years ago. And it’s the reason why Voldemort used the connection to lure Harry here, to the Department of Mysteries. That’s right. Sirius isn’t here.
.
But a bunch of Death Eaters, including Draco’s dear daddy Lucius Malfoy and the woman-who-tortured-Neville’s-parents-into-insanity (and Sirius cousin, by the way), Bellatrix Lestrange, are.
.
And that’s not good.
.
One by one, the others are knocked out-Hermione’s hit by a mysterious curse that leaves her unconscious, along with Ginny and Luna, and Ron’s knocked silly and almost strangled by a bunch of brains-until only Neville and Harry are left. It’s looking pretty bleak until the Order of the Phoenix arrives, including Sirius! Luckily, none of the Death Eaters are able to snatch the prophecy from Harry. Granted, Neville has to kick it and completely demolish it, but it’s better than the alternative.
.
Things seem to be going pretty well. Dumbledore arrives, and all seems saved-until Harry turns around and watches as Bellatrix Lestrange uses the Avada Kedavra on Sirius, and he topples behind a nearby mysteriously whispering veil.
.
That’s right. You heard me. Everybody’s favorite so-unexpected-we-thought-he-was-a-villain-like-Harry-didn’t-have-enough-of-them hero, Sirius Black, is dead.
.
Harry only pauses a moment, then dashes after Bellatrix, who beats a hasty retreat. Only a short time later, Voldemort comes in person, duels with Dumbledore a bit, then does something we were pretty sure would happen all along.
.
He possesses Harry. Like, control possesses. Controls him. You know what I mean.
.
Can Harry fend off Voldemort once more, or will he finish what he started fourteen years ago (not to mention last year in that graveyard, but that’s too recent)? Will Ron, Hermione, Neville, Ginny, and Luna be okay? Will Tonks be okay? And will Fudge finally figure out the truth: Voldemort is back!! And Harry is right! And Professor Umbridge is an absolute toad of a teacher! And Professor Dumbledore is awesome! And-well, I could go on awhile. But you know the drill. You’ll just have to make like Hermione and get the book!
.
So, that’s number five over and done with! Up next month we have Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and after that-well, suffice it to say you’d better not get me going on it, or you’ll be here awhile. Good-bye and happy hippogriffs to you until next time! (ha-ha, I made that up myself. Like it?)

Steamside Chronicles by Ciar Cullen

2010, Decadent Publishing
Ebook, review copy
Steampunk romance (Yay for steampunk!)


Summary from Decadent Publishing


Emily Fenwick, formerly with the NYPD, is now the reluctant defender of 1890 New York. Unfortunately for Emily, who hates "the creepy stuff", she ignored her inner voice, went to a carnival in Central Park, and entered a Victorian tent in hopes a psychic would have some encouraging news about her woefully boring love life. The guarantee she received of meeting a tall, dark, and handsome stranger comes with a huge catch - he lives in an alternate dimension of the past.

Jack Pettigrew leads a quirky band of lost souls in a battle to save New York circa 1890. Nightmares have come alive and threaten to terrorize a fragile era. Jack leads the “punks,” who have been sucked back in time through a vortex. Each has a fleeting memory of their own death–or near death–and must determine for themselves why they have been chosen for this mission. Is Steamside their Purgatory? Could an Egyptian obelisk in Central Park be the cause of the time rift, or is Emily herself to blame for the goblins, zombies, and other nightmarish scenes plaguing them?

If the Punks want to return to 2010, they must ensure there’s going to be an 1891. If they conclude they’re really ghosts, then it might be time to party like it’s 1999.

Although being ill sucks, the upside is that I consume a vast quantity of books. It means I'm presented with an opportunity to sit down and read ebooks on my TBR pile. I'm fairly new to them, but, partially thanks to the great books coming from Decadent, I'm really liking them! (Both Decadent and ebooks).


I got drawn to Steamside Chronicles by the cover. Maybe it was the white hair (thanks to anime, I like non-standard colours of hair). Maybe it was the scarab beetle (I only learnt what it was in the book. Before I read it, I just saw it as a bug.) Either way, I was intrigued. That intrigue led to a few hours of not being quite sure what was going on.


I don't mean that in a bad way. There were a lot of key issues which were kept a secret both from Emily and Jack. The story is from both their points of view, which makes quite an entertaining read on how they view each other. I find Emily's voice extremely easy to read. It was a pleasure to read her view on the strange life she found herself in, fighting monsters that were dreams, trying to find out what was really going on. It was the little things such as what she hadn't liked back on Earth, or how she summed up situations. Jack, as the leader of the group had a lot of burdens to carry. Emily is a mystery to him, in several ways. It's a mystery that his sister Annalise (mostly known as Petti) makes it her business to investigate. Finding out who they really are is pretty much the basis of the novel - not just where they are, but who they are as people.


The relationships within this novel were solid. There was the usual sibling watchfulness between Petti and Jack, the (perhaps inevitable) romance between Jack and Emily, plus the friendships of the other people in steamside. I liked how the community was run, how people had certain tasks to do, how they helped each other out. And how the friends had no qualms in making sure one of them did as they were told.


Heat wise, there is some language and romance throughout the entire novel. There were two chapters containing moderately sensual levels of romance.


I enjoyed this book, and will keep an eye out for more books by Ciar Cullen.

My usual review is postponed today, however I have links to 2 reviews from my review blog

I'm currently under the influence of antibiotics, which make the world seem an interesting place, and make it difficult to construct coherent sentences. (I had several typos in writing that the first time round). Apologies for this.

I'm cheating and delving into the archives of books that might appeal from my review blog. Here are two of my favourites (which I think I put under paranormal romance...)

Beauty's Curse by Traci E Hall 

Wild Magic by Ann Macela

I loved these books and I hope you will too!

I'll be off semi-evil antibiotics Sunday evening, so I'll be able to bring you a review in my next Thursday's slot. Or sooner, depending on my schedule.

Review: Love Bites by Adrienne Barbeau

Love Bites
by Adrienne Barbeau

Genre: Paranormal with Romantic Elements
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Cost: $16.49

What I Liked:
Well, for a vampire novel, I liked that it wasn't anything like Twilight. I'm really bored with angsty vampires and their human lovers.

Given that I haven't read the first book, it was nice that I could pick up this book (2nd in a series) and not feel like I'd missed so much I couldn't read it. On the other hand, I did feel like I'd missed out on the best part of the story.

What I really enjoyed about the book was the heroine's voice. It's told in first person (both from the male and the female perspective), and I found the man's voice to be unrealistic and a little over-beta for me.  But the female's voice was a lot of fun. Very modern and funny. I would have almost preferred the whole thing be from her perspective, but it was interesting to see the story through both characters' eyes. The nice part was that it was always obvious who was talking.

Will I go back and read the first book? Probably not. I liked this book, but there are a lot of other vampire novels out there to be consumed, and I'll probably move on to others. Still, the nice thing about it being a Hollywood Vampyre novel is that it was written by a real Hollywood star, so there's a good chance it's a real as Tinseltown gets.

Book Blurb:
Ovsanna Moore is a gorgeous Hollywood scream queen with a secret no plastic surgeon can rival: she's a 450-year-old vampyre. Yet when Beverly Hills Detective Peter King discovers that Ovsanna's pearly whites are really fangs, instead of grabbing a wooden stake, he asks her out. And a romantic Christmas Eve turns into a holiday of horror.
First the werewolf attack, then the mutliated body at the Sportsmen's Lodge, and finally, Orson Welles and Mary Pickford fighting for their careers in a rat disguise and a Cyndi Lauper costume, respectively... What's the just-getting-to-know-you couple to do?

It doesn' thelp that Ovsanna's personal assistant and sometime lover, Maral, will do anything to get Peter out of Ovsanna's life, including make a trip to the cemetery to consult with Marilyn Monroe.

Peter and Ovsanna have to fight for their lives. (And yes, even a vampyre can be killed--and if you've survived in Tinseltown as long as some of these monsters have, you know how to do it.) Ovsanna enlists her clan, the Vampyres of Hollywood, to help battle a coterie of supernatural beasts straight out of Alien vs. Predator. This is no ratings war, it's a fight to the death. (from the book jacket)

Review: Maybe This Time by Jennifer Cruise

Maybe This Time
by Jennifer Cruise

Genre: Contemporary Romance
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Release Date: August 31, 2010
Price: $13.49 ($11.99 for Kindle)

What I Liked:
I have been a Jennifer Cruise fan since I first read Bet Me years and years ago. Her voice is witty and charming, and she always manages to write with a twist I don't see coming.

This book did not disappoint. In fact, I can safely say if you enjoyed Bet Me, you will love this book. There's a little bit of Minerva in Andromeda. (First of all, gotta give kudos to a woman who names her heroines like that, eh?) And there's a little bit of Cal in North Archer. (Love that name, too.) I am in love with North Archer, but I can also see why Andie left him the first time. I think that's the best kind of writing, when you're treating a subject like this. There's always got to be something that completely keeps them apart that feels real. That was well done.

I definitely enjoyed the plot and the characters, but what you read Jenny Cruise for is her voice. She's got a voice unlike any other. When she writes a line like "We've got a nympho ghost, and it looks like she hijacked your body and made the rounds", I just stop and marvel. She manages to say exactly what I'm thinking, but put it in words that I never would have found. This was a laugh-out-loud book, but it also had a poignancy that was heart-tugging at times and heart-breaking at others.

All in all, I thought this was a beautifully-written, engaging book. One that I will definitely be reading again.

Book Blurb:
Andie Miller is ready to move on in life. She wants to marry her fiancé and leave behind everything in her past, especially her ex-husband, North Archer. But when Andie tries to gain closure with him, he asks one final favor of her before they go their separate ways forever. A very distant cousin of his has died and left North as the guardian of two orphans who have driven out three nannies already, and things are getting worse. He needs a very special person to take care of the situation and he knows Andie can handle anything.

When Andie meets the two children she quickly realizes things are much worse than she feared. The place is a mess, the children, Carter and Alice, aren’t your average delinquents, and the creepy old house where they live is being run by the worst housekeeper since Mrs. Danvers. What’s worse, Andie’s fiancé thinks this is all a plan by North to get Andie back, and he may be right. Andie’s dreams have been haunted by North since she arrived at the old house. And that’s not the only haunting.

What follows is a hilarious adventure in exorcism, including a self-doubting parapsychologist, an annoyed medium, her Tarot-card reading mother, an avenging ex-mother-inlaw, and, of course, her jealous fiancé. And just when she thinks things couldn’t get more complicated, North shows up on the doorstep making her wonder if maybe this time things could be different between them.

If Andie can just get rid of all the guests and ghosts, she’s pretty sure she can save the kids, and herself, from the past. But fate might just have another thing in mind…

Review: Her Reluctant Bodyguard by Jennette Green

Her Reluctant Bodyguard
by Jennette Green

Genre: Contemporary Inspirational Romance
Publisher: Diamond Press
Cost: $3.99 for Kindle

What I Liked:
When I received a copy of "Her Reluctant Bodyguard" to review, I was skeptical. In my experience, contemporary Christian romance can be overly saccharine, with an extreme evangelical bent that often supersedes any real artistry in the romantic relationship. But after reading only the first few pages of the book, I knew this book was going to be different.

I know it's tempting, when you see books with rave reviews, to assume that it's the author's friend trying to drum up support. In fact, I've accused other authors of the same thing when the book didn't live up to the hype in reviews and on Amazon. But let me tell you. Seriously. This book is the real thing. In fact, when I finished the book, I immediately thought, this book could easily have been released as a major single title with a big NY house. The quality of writing is stellar, the character development is reasonable and engaging, the story is touching, and the resolution is satisfying.

And to say a word about the Christian element, I have to give Jennette Green the highest praise. I've been hoping to find a Christian novel to read that doesn't shy away from the reality of life. When you're a woman/man in your late twenties who is still unmarried, chances are, you're going to struggle a little bit more with your past and past relationships than when you're a fresh young thing in college, meeting the wo/man of your dreams. It's a different experience, both from a spiritual perspective, and a physical/emotional one. She treated this story beautifully, along with being realistic about the physical and emotional attraction between two people and how that manifests.

After I read the book the first time and raved about it to everyone in a viable wireless radius, I gave it some time to sink in to my psyche, and then I read it again, just to make sure that the first time wasn't a fluke. It wasn't. The writing and the story and the reality were really as good as I thought they were. This is a book that will go on my favorites shelf. I plan to buy copies of it to give out to my friends. In fact, after receiving a copy to review, I've already bought the paperback for myself, so I can literally keep it on my shelf of favorite books.

Really, as a book reviewer, I rarely say "you have to buy this book". But I'm going to say it. If you've come here, you're obviously looking for a romance that will speak to your heart, through real characters who have real struggles. If you've also come here looking for some project that could treat the Christian religion and sexual attraction with equal dignity and reality (or for a good "edgy Christian romance"), you've found it in this book. I don't get any kind of profit from saying this. All I get is the satisfaction of knowing that I get to promote an author who really deserves it. I sincerely hope that you enjoy it as much as I did. If you do read it, please let the author know that you found it here. And please let us know that you enjoyed it. I look forward to hearing from you!

Book Blurb:
Alexa's dream job becomes a threat to her life...

Successful biographer Alexa Kaplan never expected to meet her favorite pop star on the Today Show set. When Colin asks her to write his biography and tour with him in Europe , she's thrilled. It all seems like a fairy tale come true—until she begins to receive death threats.

To her dismay, Colin puts her under the 24/7 protection of his chief bodyguard, Jamison Constanzo—a man with whom she’s clashed from day one. If only she could spend more time with her perfect man, Colin, rather than spending all of her days with this black-hearted thorn in her side! Alexa struggles to control her flip attitude toward Jamison. Why does opening up her heart to him feel almost as dangerous as dealing with the stalker’s threats? But when the killer strikes, Jamison is the only one she can turn to…

An excerpt is available at the author's website, and the first chapter is available to read here.

Reviewed by Rebecca Lynn.

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE by J.K. Rowling

Countdown to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Month Two-Book Four-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K Rowling


.

Here we are, on book number four! Only three more books to go till The Deathly Hallows-and, better yet, the month its in-November, the release of the first half of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the movie! Whoo-hoo!

.

The story opens with this guy named Frank Bryce. He’s the housekeeper for the Riddles (does that name ring any bells to you people who’ve read The Chamber of Secrets? Hmm?), and, when the Riddles are discovered dead with no apparent cause of death (to the Muggles, at least), he is the prime subject. But he gets off and continues taking care of the Riddle mansion.

.

Fast forward over fifty years. Frank wakes up in the middle of the night, thinking a bunch of kids has gotten in and is messing up the Riddle mansion. It turns out to be something far less welcome-Lord Voldemort, his cowardly assistant Peter Pettigrew, and Lord Voldemort’s pet snake Nagini. Suffice it to say Frank does not get a warm welcome.

.

Miles away, everybody’s favorite hero Harry Potter wakes up from a nightmare-incidentally, one of that very same scene that was just played out. Uncanny coincidence? Or is it that Harry’s just reading Voldemort’s mind? We don’t know for sure-yet. But more of that later.

.

Turns out Harry’s pretty curious on what’s up with Voldemort and his scar, too. So he writes to his recently-on-the-run-with-Buckbeak-the-hippogriff-godfather, everybody’s favorite absolutely, positively, so-unexpected-we-thought-he-was-a-villain-like-Harry-didn’t-have-enough-of-them hero, Sirius Black.

.

Then, at breakfast with the Dursleys, Harry finds out Uncle Vernon got a letter from (guess who!) Mrs.Weasley, inviting Harry along with Hermione and the Weasleys to go see the Quidditch World Cup match between Bulgaria and Ireland! Superbly awesome! Needless to say, the next day Mr. Weasley, Fred, George, and Ron arrive in a hilarious way. They try to use Floo powder (Read the Chamber of Secrets, people!) to get in, only to find that the Dursleys have blocked up their (electric) fireplace. Soon, stuff is flying and Harry is off to the Burrow!

.

There he meets Bill and Charlie, Ron’s out-of-Hogwarts brothers, and they get ready to go to the World Cup. There they meet Amos Diggory, a colleague of Mr. Weasley’s, and his son, everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric.

(((Kimber An here- Yeah, he's cute...for a brown-haired guy!)))
(((Kimber, Jr. here-   Mooooom!!!)))
.
You should know the drill for Quidditch games by now, and the World Cup is no exception. I’m not telling you who wins. You’ll just have to make like Hermione and get the book for that! (And don’t bother with the movie for this either, they cut it out.) However, I will say that the Bulgarian Seeker’s name is Viktor Krum, and he turns out to be pretty important later on. .

.

But after that something rather monumental happens that I will tell you about. All of a sudden that night, a bunch of followers of everybody’s favorite villain Lord Voldemort, otherwise known as Death Eaters, stampede through the grounds, levitating Muggles up into the air! And then, something quite awful happens-the mark of Voldemort, otherwise known as the Dark Mark, is cast into the air, chasing the rest of the rather cowardly (ring, ring!) Death Eaters.

.

But who cast it? Was it Percy’s new boss Mr.Crouch’s house-elf (ring, ring! Read your Chamber of Secrets!) Winky, who was found at the scene of the crime, one of the Death Eaters, (quite unlikely, seeing as they all ran away when it was cast) or even Harry Potter (no way!), whose wand seemed to have been used to cast it? The mystery continues-well, until the end of the book, obviously. But more of that later.

.

For now, it’s back to Hogwarts with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. The trip is not made any easier by the fact that everybody’s favorite arch-school-enemy, Draco Malfoy, is dropping hints that something else really big is going down at Hogwarts. .

.

We find out exactly what that thing is once Harry gets to Hogwarts. A big tournament called the Triwizard Tournament is going to be hosted by Hogwarts this year. Students from fellow magical schools Durmstrang and Beauxbatons will be arriving to compete. In the meantime, however, Harry, Ron, and Hermione meet the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, everybody’s favorite seemingly-grumpy-guy ex-Auror Mad-Eye Moody. In his classes, they learn about the three Unforgiveable Curses-the Cruciatus Curse (as according to everybody’s favorite cheer-on-able character, Neville Longbottom), the Imperius Curse, and the worst of all, Avada Kedavra: the Killing Curse. If you think back maybe four books, I think you’ll know just how significant this last one is to Harry.

.

Finally, however, the Durmstrang and Beauxbatons students arrive, and we learn a little about schools other than everybody’s favorite magical school, Hogwarts. We also learn what became of that Bulgarian Seeker, Viktor Krum-he’s come to enter for the Triwizard Tournament, surprise, surprise!

.

Soon, the finalists for the Triwizard Tournament are in- everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric Diggory for Hogwarts, Viktor Krum for Durmstrang (big surprise there), a girl named Fleur Delacour for Beauxbatons, and------Huh?! Now this is totally weird, I don’t think anyone anticipated this, (yeah, right,) but it looks like Harry is the fourth Triwizard champion!!! Not only is he underage, but there aren’t supposed to be more than three champions, one for each school! However, while we are left to ponder 1) who managed to fool the Goblet of Fire and put Harry’s name in and 2) why one would even try to do so, Harry is bound by magical contract to compete! Yikes!

.

` One night not long after that, we find out what the first task is: dragons! Hagrid takes Madame Maxime, the headmistress of Beauxbatons, for a midnight stroll to see them with Harry under the Invisibility Cloak in tow.

.

Then, during an encounter with Draco Malfoy, the mean Slytherin does something to get on Mad-Eye Moody’s bad side and, for all his trouble, gets turned into a white ferret!!! Haha, that is my favorite Malfoy scene after last book’s punch! Well, so far, anyway.

.

Not long after that Harry is facing the first task. He has to somehow grab an egg protected by a very fierce, very protective, and very dangerous Hungarian Horntail dragon. So Harry pulls off an awesome flight on his new Firebolt to evade the dragon and grab the egg. Awesome!

.

However, there is one “task” that Harry does not know about: the Yule Ball. It is the traditional Christmas party for the Triwizard Tournament. And for that, Harry needs a partner.

.

Yeah. Really.

.

What is it with boys anyway?! Harry and Ron wait until, like, the last second to get dates. Ron’s chosen partner: Fleur Delacour. Yeah, no offense, Ron, but dream on! Harry’s is a bit more realistic, shall we say: Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw Seeker, whom we met, last book (along with Cedric, I’m pleased to say). However, that doesn’t work out. Cho’s going with another guy. In the end, Harry enlists the help of the Patil twins, Parvati and Padma.

.

You may be wondering: What about Hermione? Well, you’re about to find out. When the Yule Ball rolls round, Harry joins the champions. Turns out Cho’s been asked out by none other than everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy, Cedric Diggory. Good for her! Then we find out just who Hermione’s gone with: none other than everybody’s favorite Bulgarian bonbon, Viktor Krum! (((Mmm!)))

.

Yeah. Really.

.

Then the boys reach a hurdle: um, how are we supposed to dance?

.

Yeah. Really.

.

Somehow, though, they figure it out with the helpof their rather-better-at-dancing girl partners, and they manage to avert a potential fiasco.

.

A little later (or maybe a little earlier, I forget) we find out something you may have guessed about our big friend, Hagrid. Turns out that he’s-surprise, surprise!-half-giant! Some time later, a very annoying reporter named Rita Skeeter publishes an article on the subject- hereby turning the wrath of rather annoying people such as everybody’s favorite ex-Death Eater (?), Lucius Malfoy. That’s right, Draco’s dear daddy, though that shouldn’t be a surprise to someone who’s carefully kept an eye on him through the past three books. Now, Hagrid is disgraced by one bug of a reporter. (Literally!)

.

The second task is looming. Remember that egg Harry had to take? Well, it’s a clue to the second task. However, Harry isn’t able to figure it out till a carefully placed clue courtesy of everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric lands him in the prefect’s bathroom in the middle of the night.

.

Déjà vu!!

.

And, to complete the feeling of déjà vu, we’re reunited with an old friend: Moaning Myrtle from the Chamber of Secrets. Apparently, she’s been very naughty and spied on everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric puzzling out the clue within his own egg. So now she’s helping out Harry-at the price of some hilarity of course, but the more the merrier! Eventually Harry figures it out: he’s got to rescue something from the merpeople in the Black Lake and get it back to the surface within an hour, or he loses. (don-don-dawwww!)

.

The problem is: how’s he going to survive underwater for an hour? The solution comes when everybody’s favorite really-bad-at-saving-Harry’s-life-house-elf, Dobby, stealing a bit of an herb called gillyweed from Professor Snape’s stores and brings it to him. He says that it was give Harry gills to breathe underwater for an hour. Awesome!

.

Second task dawns. The four champions take the plunge underwater. Harry uses his gillyweed, everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric and Fleur both use the Bubble-Head Charm, and everybody’s favorite Bulgarian bonbon Viktor Krum Transfigures himself into a shark.

.

That’s when we find out just what the merpeople took: people the champions hold dear! Harry’s is Ron (don don dawww!), everybody’s favorite Bulgarian bonbon Viktor Krum’s is Hermione (don don dawww!), everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric’s is Cho Chang (don don dawww!), and Fleur’s is her sister Gabrielle. (don don daww!)

.

Now Harry, the born hero that he is, heroically stays behind to make sure everybody is safe. When Fleur gets knocked out of the competition by a bunch of crazy octopeople called grindylows, Harry heroically risks running out of time to save both Ron and Gabrielle.

.

In the end, though, Harry ties with everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric for first! All that’s left is the third task and Harry’s home free! However, before we can get to that several big, huge, and quite monumental things happen. First off we meet up with everybody’s favorite absolutely, positively, so-expected-we-thought-he-was-a-villain-like-Harry-didn’t-have-enough-of-them hero, Sirius Black. He tells Harry, Ron, and Hermione about something quite alarming: Igor Karkaroff, the headmaster of Durmstrang, was a former Death Eater! Could he have put Harry’s name into the Goblet of Fire?

.

Then, during a chat with everybody’s favorite Bulgarian bonbon Viktor Krum, Harry discovers none other than everybody’s favorite paranoid Ministry member, Mr. Crouch. This time, though, he’s gone somewhat crazy. Harry runs for Dumbledore, but by the time help arrives, Mr. Crouch is dead.

.

But, why? That’s what everyone is pondering lately.

.

Then Harry dreams (okay, it’s definitely getting suspiciously uncanny now) about Voldemort (who else? Seriously!) and Wormtail. Wormtail did something wrong, and now he’s getting the brunt of the Cruciatus Curse. I know, I know, Wormtail’s a bad guy, but I still think Voldemort should go a little easier on the poor guy.

.

Then we find out just why Mr. Crouch is so significant: he had a son. Just one. That one son was sent to Azkaban for being a Death Eater. As a matter of fact, Karkaroff put him in. He died there, soon after.

.

Or did he?!

.

Harry finds this all out when he finds a special stone bowl called a Pensieve, full of thoughts and memories. It’s quite cool, actually. It’s one of the principle forms of time-travel throughout the Harry Potter books. If you think about it, he’s done time-travelling in all of the books except Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It was Tom Riddle’s diary in the Chamber of Secrets, Hermione’s Time-Turner in the Prisoner of Azkaban, and the Pensieve in this book. He also uses them in the next three, but I’m not saying how.

.

Now, finally, though, Harry faces the third and final task, a maze leading to the ultimate prize, the Triwizard Cup!

.

Early on, it’s only Harry and everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy Cedric still in it. Everybody’s favorite Bulgarian bonbon Viktor Krum is Imperiused by an unknown person and is knocked out, and Fleur is taken by an unknown villain. After a riddling session with a sphinx and an attack courtesy of one of Hagrid’s pet spiders, Harry and everybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra- cute-guy Cedric are locked in a race for the Cup. They decide to take it together, but receive a shock when it turns out the Cup is a Portkey-an object that is bewitched to take them somewhere! And this Portkey turns out to take them to a random graveyard out in the middle of nowhere.

.

Then Wormtail shows up and does something really, really, awfully bad. He kills eveybody’s favorite super-extra-ultra-cute-guy CEDRIC!!!!!!!! That guy is in serious trouble with me now!!

.

Then, something we knew would happen, even if we didn’t know it could happen, happens. Voldemort rises again! Yipes!

.

Soon, a bunch of Death Eaters show up, including certainly-not-ex-Death Eater Lucius Malfoy! And yes, I’m totally serious about that, pun intended.

.

Can Harry get away this time in one piece, or will Lord Voldemort finish what he started thirteen years ago? Well, sorry, but I’m still not in the give-away-the-ending mood, so you can stop holding you breath and make like Hermione and get the book!



Well, there’s number four for you! Next up in September we’ll have Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, so if you can’t wait you’ll have to make like Hermione and get the book. After that, though, there’s only two books left- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!!!!!!! See you then!

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN by J.K. Rowling

Countdown to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows-Month Two-Book Three-Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K Rowling


.

Welcome to Month Two! This month we shall review Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire! Then next month……well, I’m sure I’ve hammered it into your head enough, and if I haven’t go look at the previous review, I’m tired of saying it. Well, in any case, here’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban!

.

The story opens with Harry attempting to do his homework in the dead of night.

.

Yeah. Really.

.

See, the Dursleys would really rather their neighbors not know that Harry exists, much less is a wizard. So they’ve locked away his books, broomstick, wand, etc. But Harry managed to steal some of it back, so he can do his homework.

.

Yeah. Really.

.

So, anyway, then Harry’s horrible aunt comes to visit and decides to insult Harry’s parents. So, anyway, one inflated aunt (ha-ha) and an encounter with some sort of very scary dog later, Harry’s on the seriously weird Knight Bus on his way to the Leaky Cauldron.

.

By this point you’re probably thinking, “Hey, whoah, slow down. Isn’t Harry going to get in trouble for this?” My thoughts exactly. But when Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, (uh-oh) meets Harry, he lets him off easy. Now in my opinion Fudge is just a little bit of a wimp. I don’t mean to give anything away, but he’s the one who makes Harry look bad in The Order of the Phoenix. They practically had to shove Voldemort under his nose to make him believe……ooops. Forget I said that. Anyway, let’s just say I have a very low opinion of him. On the bright side, though, he lets Harry off easy due to the fact there’s a murderer on the loose.

.

Whoah. Back up here. We need some background info on this. According to Mr. Weasley, the murderer’s name is Sirius Black (it’s pronounced serious- well, at least it is in the movies. Otherwise it’s sy-rus. I know, I was confused, too. Seriously!) and he’s the one who betrayed Harry and his parents’ whereabouts to Voldemort! And not long after that, he supposedly blew up a whole street, killing dozens of Muggles and one supposedly heroic wizard named Peter Pettigrew.

.

Oh, yeah, and he’s Harry’s godfather.

.

Yeah. Really.

/

Anyway, Sirius Black is now on the run. He somehow managed to escape from the wizard prison, Azkaban, and is on his way to Hogwarts, supposedly to try and kill Harry.

/

So drastic measures have been taken. For the year, Fudge has sent dementors to guard Hogwarts.

.

Dementors. These are creatures you’d really not want to meet down a dark alley, trust me. They live off all happy thoughts and feelings, all things good and bright. They can suck these things right out of you like a smoothie. But the very worst thing they can do is kiss you. Believe me, besides the obvious yuck factor of kissing a dead guy, there’s the fact that when they do, they suck out your soul.

.

Yeah. Not pretty.

.

But that’s exactly what they plan to do with Sirius Black if they catch him. But in the meantime, they decide to search for him onboard the Hogwarts Express, and here Harry gets his first face-to-face encounter with a dementor, and it’s not pretty, to say the least. But luckily, the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin, is able to drive the dementor away. Probably the only good thing about dementors is that the antidote is chocolate, so that’s cool.

.

(((Psst, Kimber An here. Lupin is my favorite professor!)))

.

However, the fact that there’s a bunch of really mean dementors hanging around Hogwarts is only one of the new things this year. Another is the new subjects Harry, Ron, and Hermione are taking. One in particular is very odd. It’s Divination, and as if that’s not totally weird on its own, the teacher’s named Professor Trelawney and, as they soon find out, her favorite pastime is predicting Harry’s death.

.

Yeah. Really.

.

However, there’s another really cool one that’s called Care of Magical Creatures, and that’s just awesome. And guess who teaches it! If you guessed Hagrid, you’re right!

.

Unfortunately, though, the class is taken with the Slytherins, including our favorite ASE (arch-school-enemy) Draco Malfoy, and as we all know by now, that’s going to lead to trouble.

.

It does. The very first lesson (a very cool one on hippogriffs, which are big half-griffin, half-horse creatures), Malfoy manages to offend a hippogriff named Buckbeak. Now, hippogriffs are very proud creatures, and, as a result, Malfoy gets slashed in the shoulder and blames it on Buckbeak’s being vicious- puh-leeze!!! We’ll have to see how that turns out.

.

Meanwhile, it’s time for Professor Lupin’s class, and it turns out to be hysterical! It’s on boggarts: shapeshifting creatures that turn into whatever scares you the most. In Harry’s case, it’ a dementor. And that’s not good. As a matter of fact, it’s quite bad.

.

But then, as if Harry didn’t have enough on his mind to begin with, Sirius Black comes to Hogwarts and slashes the Fat Lady’s portrait! As a result, all the kids are sent to the Great Hall for the night and the castle is searched, but no further sign of Sirius Black is found.

.

Then something really not good happens. It’s the first Quidditch match of the season, and Harry is flying against the Hufflepuff team and their Seeker, Cedric Diggory. But before Harry can catch the Snitch, a bunch of dementors come onto the field and make Harry fall off his broom from fifty feet up in the air!

.

Yeah. Not pretty. .

.

When Harry wakes up in the hospital wing, it’s to learn that 1) Hufflepuff won and 2) that his Nimbus Two Thousand flew into the Whomping Willow and was reduced to nothing but a bunch of sticks. Ooops. .

.

So, all in all, it’s kind of a disappointing year so far. Harry can’t even go to this place called Hogsmeade, which is this all-wizarding village that has candy shops and joke shops and stuff like that. However, just before the Christmas Break visit, the Weasley twins Fred and George give Harry a magical map that shows several ways to Hogsmeade! Six of them won’t work, but the seventh leads right into Hogsmeade’s local candy shop, Honeydukes.

.

Finally, things start looking up. Harry receives a new broomstick for Christmas, and it isn’t just any broomstick-it’s the newest model, the awesomely awesome Firebolt!

But who’s it from? Of course, everyone suspects it’s from Sirius Black, and we all know what he’s after. But then, just before the next Quidditch game, Harry gets it back from Professor McGonagall, who was checking it over, and it’s really cool!

.

But meanwhile, Harry’s dementor problem is kind of getting worse, so he’s enlisted the help of our friend Professor Lupin to learn a spell to repel (hey, that rhymes!) them. It’s called a Patronus, and it’s basically a shield of happy things so to speak that will protect you from the dementors. Really handy, I know. But it’s also really advanced. Will Harry be able to learn it in time?

.

Then it’s time for Quidditch! This time it’s against Ravenclaw, and boy is it intense! And no, I’m not saying who wins!

.

But before you can say, “Where’s Sirius Black?” he turns up-right in the Gryffindor boys’ dormitories! Yipes! So once again the kids stay up all night while the castle is searched, but once again Sirius Black vanishes. Seriously (pun intended), this is getting annoying!

.

But when Harry is discovered in Hogsmeade and nearly gets the map exposed by our old friend Professor Snape, we find out about four key people named Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Luckily, though, Professor Lupin gets Harry out of hot water and we’re all fine. But then Hermione bursts in and we hear about what Malfoy has managed to pull off.

.

Buckbeak had to have a hearing, and he lost.

.

He is going to be executed. .

.

Yeah. Really.

.

And that is a problem.

.

So then, when Harry, Ron and Hermione run into Malfoy gloating over his victory, they pull off my absolute favorite scene in all of Harry Potter.

.

Hermione slaps Malfoy!!!!!!

.

Hahahhah! Take that, Draco!

.

Anyway, then it’s the Quidditch finals finally! The game is against everyone’s favorite House, Slytherin, and in case you don’t know, Malfoy is Slytherin Seeker. He hasn’t managed to beat Harry at it yet, but we know he’s going to give it a good try.

.

You know the drill by now. I’m not telling who wins, since it’s so utterly obvious!!

.

Soon after, it’s time for exams. I think by now everyone suspects that Professor Trelawney isn’t all she says she is. But when it’s Harry’s turn to take the exam, Professor Trelawney does something no one expects.

.

She makes a prophecy! .

.

It’s something about Lord Voldemort rising again with the help of a returned servant……needless to say, Harry assumes the returning servant is Sirius Black. And he’s not happy about that. So when they go down to comfort Hagrid before Buckbeak’s execution and a giant black dog drags Ron and his rat Scabbers into the tunnel under the Whomping Willow, they quickly follow to find that the dog is Sirius Black-he’s what’s called an Animagus. Animaguses can turn into an animal-in Sirius Black’s case, a huge black dog.

.

So imagine their surprise when Professor Lupin turns up and tells them that Sirius is innocent-it was their supposed friend Peter Pettigrew who betrayed Harry’s parents to Voldemort! Peter Pettigrew is the same person who supposedly stood up to Sirius Black when he blew up the street and killed all those Muggles-but it wasn’t Sirius at all, it was Peter Pettigrew! We also find out who Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs were-Moony was Professor Lupin, Wormtail was Peter Pettigrew, Padfoot was Sirius Black, and Prongs was-guess who!-Harry’s dad!!! They were all Animaguses-well, except for Professor Lupin, but we find out what he was later.

.

But no sooner have we found that out than several really bad things happen. One, it happens to be a full moon that night. What mythical creature do we know that always turns savage on the full moon? If you guessed werewolf, you are correct! That is exactly what happens to poor Professor Lupin, and Sirius is forced to fight his old friend as a dog. But that isn’t the worst thing that happens. Harry, Hermione, and Sirius Black are stranded on the lakeside with hundreds of dementors on their tails. But then something good happens-someone who looks an awful lot like Harry’s dad casts a Patronus and chases the dementor. But is it really?

.

Some time later, Harry wakes up to find that Sirius has been locked up and is awaiting the dementors, who are going to give him the worst thing they can do-the Dementor’s Kiss! It’s up to Harry and Hermione to save the day. Can they save Sirius and maybe even Buckbeak too and make sure this story has a happy ending? Oh, yeah, and solve the mystery of just who cast that Patronus? (It’s really sort of obvious, actually,)

.

Well, let’s just say that’s for you to figure out. I’m not telling!
.
Well, that’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! Later this month we’ll do Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but that’s the last of the two-a-month ones. But don’t worry; I intend to have at least three books each month-one Harry Potter and two others. But until next time, bye-bye!