At last, after four long years of learning, writing, and querying, I'm throwing my very own Cyber-Launch Book Party.
To read about past Cyber-Launch Book Parties here at Enduring Romance, please click on the link in the directory or the tag at the bottom of this post. It all started organically four years ago after I read GAMES OF COMMAND by Linnea Sinclair and wished I could attend a book party for it. I threw a virtual one on my old blog. That was all fine and good, but after the initial excitement things started getting boring. So, I started making stuff up. Pretty soon, we had Tribbles with fangs bouncing through the comment section and a mummy who lost its head in a lightsaber duel, staggering around searching for it. Things got a little crazy, but everyone seemed to have a good time. Now, it's finally my turn.
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There will be a drawing when the party ends at 6 p.m. tonight. If you wish to enter this drawing, you must leave a comment with some way of contacting you via email. If you have a username that links to your Blogger profile, that's perfect. I must have some way of contacting you to let you know you won. The prize is a free eBook of SUGAR RUSH, plus a few goodies sent by snail-mail, including an Alaskan moose plush toy.
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If you want to learn more about SUGAR RUSH before attending the party, please scroll down to read a review, excerpt, and links to guest posts. And/or, you can visit Kimber An's Main Site Additionally, Sugar Rush is now on sale at Decadent Publishing and Amazon
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Okay, got your blaster and protective footwear? Life insurance? Good! I shall now wave my fairy wand and zap you through the Temporal Vortex Chamber!
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Kimber An is sucked into the Temporal Vortex and spat out the other side. Wiping the slime from clipboard, she stands up and surveys the Protagonists’ Café.
A band is warming up in the corner, filling the café with twangs and drum taps and badly working microphones.
The heroine’s mom is leaning against the Super-Turbo Coffee-Maker with her favorite Trekkie cup and looking like she’s already having a good time. Dark chocolate is stacked on the bar next to her.
The heroine’s twin sister, Bianca, is being taught to stick spoons to her nose and straws in her ears by Junior, heroine of the Star Captains’ Daughter stories. They’re both sixteen and have long red hair, though Bianca’s is darker. Junior laughs hysterically and Bianca snorts in response.
Kimber sighs and shakes her head. “I knew those two wouldn’t waste any time getting into trouble.”
Adrian, hero of SUGAR RUSH, is spat out the Chamber. Of average height and blond, he stands and wipes himself off. “What’s with the slime?”
“Beats me.” Kimber shrug. “I suspect an asteroid worm. Where’s Ophelia?”
Adrian glances around the room and props hands on hips. “I thought she was with you.”
“Nope.” Kimber hears a clicking sound and leans way over the counter. She sees Ophelia sitting on the floor, taking apart a Salad Shooter. “What in tarnation are you doing down there?”
“Uh…” Ophelia freezes. “Making salad?”
“With garlic?” Kimber eyes the large bowl of cloves.
“Well…I know you didn’t invite the Newbloods, but I thought, you know, we ought to be prepared in case they crash, so I…”
Adrian leans over the counter. “She’s souping up a salad shooter.” He rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe this.”
“And you know you love her for it too.” Kimber pats his shoulder. “I wonder if she’s using D batteries or if she’s managed to bypass the electrical system and rig it up to a hyperdrive engine.”
Ophelia’s face tenses and reddens. “I am not coming out there and you can’t make me!”
Kimber picks up a tray of cookies and turns away from Adrian. “See what you can do with her while I clean the restroom. The trolls had chili for dinner last night, you know.”
Nayu enters, her Muse hiding out under her cornflower blue cloack.
"Kimber?" she calls out. "As long as stays with me she's safe, right? My Muse wanted to come congratulate you. As for me..." Nayu pulls out a chilled bowl from behind her back. "I bought cookie dough!"
A middle aged woman dressed in medieval garb stumbles out of the Vortex. She grips a beer keg in her beefy arms. She glances around, spies the bar and heads that way. She hefts the keg onto the bar.
"Hey," Adrian says. "This is an underage party."
The woman blinks at him. "What does underage mean?"
"No one under 21 can have alcoholic beverages."
She snorts. "That's ridiculous. I know men who have had four children by the time they are twenty-one. You mean to say they can't have a beer?"
Nayu hides a smile with her free hand. In her knee length tunic which has white feathers against a midnight blue background she nabs a stool.
"Adrian," she says. "Let the middle age woman drink her beer over there. It means there's more snacks for everyone else here."
Nayu waves her currently non-flaming wooden spoon in the air, and magics up all sorts of sweet delights, that are diabetic friendly.
"My name is Harla," the woman says, nonplussed. "Some people call me Widow Harla. And as far as I'm concerned, you're all grown men and women. But if those are the rules, I'll follow them. Now about those snacks?"
Kimber eyes Naya's muse. "Careful, Angelica tossed my muse into a flaming tarpit ages ago. I haven't missed the Old Hag, but you'd better keep an eye on yours. Thanks for conjuring up all the goodies!"
"Yep, them's the rules, Harla, but do have some coffee," says Kimber An. "It's the best this side of Starbuck's!"
Kimber An studies her clipboard. "Okay, next up for music we have the A-Teens singing their inspirational song, 'Sugar Rush!'"
Kimber Jr, her daughter grabs her head in both hands and screams, "Nooooo! I can't listen to that song one more time, even coming from the professionals! You've walking around singing it for months!"
"Weird Al then." Kimber An strikes up the band and 'Bedrock Anthem' begins to shake dust down from the cobwebs.
"Nooooo!" Kimber Jr runs away screaming.
"What? Weird Al's a genius! I never would've made it through Queryland without his fun music." Kimber An shrugs and resumes handing out cookies.
"What in the world is wrong with Real Gone by Sheryl Crow?!" Kimber Jr. yells. "One more peep out of those A-Teens and I'll get my griffins in here."
"Oooh, griffins!" squeals Ophelia, squeezing a little closer. "You have griffins?"
"Yeah, I do," says Kimber Jr. "Here they come!"
Seven griffins, a horse, and a girl walk in. Behind them come a werewolf, a centaur,a unicorn,and a phoenix.
"Meet Lucas, Adrianna, Sierra, Jayson, Leeque, Grace, Fiona, Sasha, and Shay," says Kimber Jr. "The werewolf is Sol, the centaur's Star,the unicorn's Rosehorn, and the phoenix's name is Firefeathers. He also has a friend named Waveflame, but isn't she sitting on her egg?"
"Yep," says Firefeathers.
"So yeah, I do have griffins," says Kimber Jr, turning to Ophelia, but Ophelia is gone. She's petting Lucas, oblivious to the fact that he's getting more and more agitated......
"Ophelia! They can breathe...."
A twitch of Lucas's claw and fire spits out of his mouth.
".....fire," Kimber Jr finishes. "When will they ever listen to me?"
"Kimber Jr!!" squeals Nayu, waving away the smoke.
"I love your griffins."
"Kimber Jr! How many times have I told you to bring a fire extinguisher when you take your flammable pets for walks?" Kimber An props hands on her motherly hips. "That's it! No Harry Potter books or movies for a week!"
"Mooooom!"
Nayu pulls up her hood, and turns away from Kimber An.
"Kimber Jr - don't worry. I'll sneak you the books and movies when Kimber An is busy doing...author stuff."
"Eh? What's that?"
Space Pirate Bella, Queen of All Space Wenches, leaps from the chamber.
She flicks off the last bit of slime and flips back a wayward strand of her flowing platinum hair. Brandishing a pitcher of her special Shirley Temple mix, she cries, “Aye, arrgghh! Here there be a party!”
She sashays through the room, casually dodging a blast of fire from Lucas. Finding Kimber An, Bella embraces her in a fierce hug. “Congratulations on your debut, matey!” She cocks her head. “Is that Weird Al?”
Bella breaks into a Varuhlan boogie amid horrified stares.
"The one and only!" Kimber An pats Bella's shoulder as she boogies by. Just then, she notices a vampire about to chomp Nayu. "Larry! Knock it off! You don't need the calories!"
Larry slumps his shoulders and shuffles away.
Kimber throws up a hand and walks away, shaking her head. "What is it with Blood-Sucking Dead Guys anyway?"
Harla watches the Varuhlan boogie and then much to everyone's surprise, she tries a few steps, herself.
"What?" she yells. "My husband's the one who's dead, not me." She grabs Bella and they whirl around the room.
Then, the Vortex flashes again, and a prince steps out. He's wearing a blue tabard, white puffy shirt, tight, tight black leggings and shiny black boots. He is pure yum to look at, and he turns heads as he walks by.
He looks a bit disconcerted with all the stares. He walks up to Harla and sketches a bow. She executes a surprisingly practiced curtsy.
"I'm glad you got here, Andy," she says before he can say a word. "Mind the kids while I go get some cider."
And with that, she jumps through the vortex.
"Dang." Kimber An looks the new prince up and down. "He's hot." Hearing some shuffling around, she peers around milkshake machine and sees Adrian kissing Ophelia. 'Well,' she thinks. 'I did tell him to see what he could do with her.'
Meankitty pops thru the rift and frantically begins to clean the slime off her beauteous fur. This takes some time. Then she watches all the odd two-leggers cavorting about and wonders when they're bringing out the tuna. She's rpetty sure she smells tuna.
Kimber An spots Larry luring Meankitty with a can of tuna. "Larry!"
Larry slumps his shoulders and shuffles away.
"Where the heck are the bouncers? Things are starting to pick up." Kimber An surveys the guests doing the monster-mash on the dancefloor.
Just then, the Temporal Vortex Chamber flashes and Angelica, heroine of Manic Knight, leaps through with some pointy-ears guys. "Got the bouncers!"
"Cute." Kimber looks them up and down. "But, they're elves. I specifically asked for Vulcans. SUGAR RUSH is Science Fiction-based."
"Oh, well, the Vulcans had a Star Trek convention down in the Lower 48, so..." Angelica shrugs.
Kimber sighs. "I guess they're tough enough to deal with whatever comes through the door. Come on, guys."
"And they're cute." Angelica follows them, the side of her full lips curled up.
Bella cranks the volume up to eleven.
*boogie boogie boogie*
Did I miss the hot goblins? I really didn't want to miss the hot goblins! Congrats, Kimber! Great party!!!
"A pouting vampire with a can of tuna in his hand?" Kimber sighs. "Bram Stoker must be rolling over in his grave. Remember that one party when one of Michelle Moran's mummies got his head lopped off in a lasersword duel and..." She sees a bunch of preschool goblins dance by playing 'Keep Away' with a mummy's head. "Oh, here comes Bob now."
A headless mummy staggers by, groaning, arms outstretched and pursuing the goblins.
Kimber hands Pauline a cup of hot cocoa. "Sorry, Pauline, haven't seen Lisa and her, um, entourage yet."
"Well, that's what I get for..." Kimber cocks her head, hearing strange rumblings from the Temporal Vortex Chamber.
Suddenly, three slick Newbloods leap through and circle out, sniffing the air and looking very hungry. The tall, young, handsome one curls his lips and purrs, "Sweeeeet."
"Everybody, hit the deck!" Adrian leaps up from behind the bar and yanks down the fire alarm.
The emergency klaxon splits the air and the Newbloods scream.
Ophelia shoves a super-charged mulcher out from behind the milkshake maker and jerks back the lever. Shredded, slimed Artic Poppies and garlic shoots out, covering the Newbloods. She yells, teeth bared, moving the mulcher back and forth and then charging it towards them.
The Newbloods stumble back through the Chamber and Adrian sprints to man the controls, sending them back into the Sugar Rush Universe.
Meanwhile, Ophelia's still yelling, eyes wild. "I HATE NEWBLOODS!"
Bianca, her sister, cowers behind Kimber An. "She's scaring me."
Adrian sweeps Ophelia up into his warm embrace. "It's all right. They're gone. Let's go have some sugar-free hot cocoa."
"I hate Newbloods. I hate 'em." Ophelia walks back into the kitchen with him.
Kimber An blows out a breath and saunters up to the super-charged mulcher. "You know, if Buffy The Vampire Slayer had one of these bad girls, she would've won the war."
Angelica rolls her eyes. "You've never watched Buffy." She walks away.
The Vortex lights up again and a procession of tiny, winged creatures fly out. After the last one flies through, the machine gives a loud burp and goes silent. Everyone stares at the tiny creatures.
They are fairies.
"Oh, my," says one of them. "Did we do that?"
"Magic and science," says another. "They never mix."
Angelica strides over to the vortex, goes in the back, works her own brand of technical magic, and it hums to life again just in time to disgorge an eighth fairy, at which time Angelica must repair the vortex again.
The new fairy has a certain gleam in her eye.
"Anyone want a wish?" she asks the room at large. "We fairies grant wishes, you know."
"Oh, oh!" Kimber An does a Snoopy dance around the cute little fairies. "I want dark chocolate!" Dark chocolate appears before her. "Hey, it worked!"
Kimber Jr says, "Uh, that was me, Mom. Dad brought that home for you."
"Oh." Kimber An rips open the chocolate. "By the way, there's less than hour left until the party officially ends. If you party-goers want to be entered into the drawing, you must leave a comment."
Karen stumbles through the vortex dragging a little toddler and cries. "With all this slime, I need another shower. YUCK!" She spies Kimber An with Bianca cowering behind her and walks over. "I think this party is too wild for me." She whispers. "I just wanted to come and say
'Congrats'! I guess I'll see ya another time." She plunges back out the vortex in a flourish as her little boy, who is fascinated by the scene around him, drags his feet, wishing he could stay and play!
Karen pops her head back through the vortex for a second, just to shout. "Love the music, by the way!"
Kimber Jr stares glumly at the mix of Arctic poppies and garlic plastering the floor. "And she complains about my flammable pets."
Nearby, Sol is digging into a container of potato salad. "SOL!! Get out of the potato salad! You know what it does to you!"
"Yeah, whatever," says Sol, continuing to eat.
Kimber Jr rolls her eyes. "Characters."
"Ooh, what a pretty phoenix!" says Junior, pulling Angelica along.
Bianca trails after her reluctantly, fresh from trading witty comebacks with Sierra and Jayson.
"You don't even like fantasy," says Bianca.
"Yeah, so?" Junior says, reaching for an egg in Firefeathers's nest.
"NOOOOOO!!" Kimber Jr yells, lunging forward, but it's too late.
"MY EGG!!!" Firefeathers shrieks. His feathers light on fire.
Junior, Angelica, and Bianca run out screaming. Kimber An yells, "KIMBER JR!!!!"
"It was Junior's fault! She touched his egg! Out! Out! Griffins aren't fireproof, you crazy pigeons! Out!" Kimber Jr yells.
By the time everybody's out, the whole thing is burned to the ground.
Everyone turns angrily to Junior who puts on her best innocent face.
The griffins twitch their claws. The werewolves, including Sol, bristle and growl.
"Sorry," peeps Junior timidly.
"JUNIOR!!!"
"She can't help it if she's hyper," says Kimber An. "I wrote her that way."
"Well," says Kimber An, "I guess my days as an aspiring author just went up in flames. This party is now closed. Kimber Jr will now draw a name and we'll announce the winner as soon as she's been notified."
"If you all want to carry on down at the beach, feel free. I smell a barbecue."
Kimber An takes off her headphones while listening to Weird Al sing, 'I Think I'm a Clone Now,' to email the winner.
Agent Z. shows up fashionably late with a couple of really good-looking henchmen in tow.
Noting that she's missed yet another party by being so fashionably late, she leaves a bouquet of flowers for Kimber An, then heads for the nearest nightclub.
Several hours later, Z. and henchmen are still wandering the wilds of Alaska looking for a nightclub.
Luckily, Agent Z and henchmen are found by the proprietor of Joe's Bar & Grille. He takes takes them there and cooks up some reindeer sausage and eggs. They camp under the stars and decide to go on a whale tour in Prince William Sound the next day.
Meanwhile, back at the Protagonists' Cafe, Kimber An finds the flowers, smiles tiredly, and wonders off to bed.
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